Chayanee Chomsaengchun
I didnt just want a photo of the rainforest.
Before baptism, these mystical waters demanded a photo.
The universe laughed, but I got the shot.
The Leisure Pool at the Kamalaya Koh Samui resort.Credit:Chayanee Chomsaengchun
Dont worry; this isnt a story about just another phone-addicted millennial.
Time passed, fluid as a river.
Related:The Best Times to Visit Thailand
Physical, spiritual, mental lately it feels likewellnesscan mean anything.
Gulf views from Conrad Koh Samui.Chayanee Chomsaengchun
Sandalwood incense smoldered, an essential-oil burner radiated eucalyptus, and a somnific hymn seeped from a speaker.
Charlotte, my wife, was already between the sheets of the Sealy Posturpedic.
Are you coming to bed?
From left: A statue of Ganesh, the Hindu god of wisdom, at Kamalaya; a statue of the Buddha at Kamalaya.Chayanee Chomsaengchun
So lets get personal.
Lets talk about Lisa.
Its an amazing opportunity for my career and the start of a relationship I hope will be mutually advantageous.
From left: The Gulf of Thailand, as seen from the Conrad; Tai Beach.Chayanee Chomsaengchun
Much has changed in Thailand since Tamarind Springs 1998 debut, but the country remains an excellent value.
Getting massaged for nearly the duration ofTitanic,the mind wanders.
In a dark cabinet, mine found Lisa.
From left: Kamalaya’s lap pool; a guest room at Banyan Tree Samui.Chayanee Chomsaengchun
We met on a press trip 16 years ago.
Clouds had gathered en route, turning the ridge-backed granite isles scattered offshore into slate silhouettes.
I studied them from the sapphire-tiled pool running the length of my villa.
The open-air reception station at Tamarind Springs Forest Spa.Chayanee Chomsaengchun
They looked like ancient dragons, half-submerged in the aquamarine sea.
There was the fountain pond the color of a filthy martini.
But I was already forgetting too much, and stress pinged like a pebble against a windshield.
A view of the Gulf of Thailand from the Ko Lounge at Conrad Koh Samui.Chayanee Chomsaengchun
As I said, this isnt that phone-addicted millennial story youve read before.
Thisisa self-employed, recession-forged, success-addicted millennial story.
Its wonderful and scary.
Jahn, a restaurant at Conrad Koh Samui.Chayanee Chomsaengchun
It feels that way because it happened before, and it happened in Thailand.
October 29, 2009:Hey Lisa…. Hope you are well!
Attached is a Thailand revision, trimmed to the requested 1,500 words.
Banyan Tree Samui’s private villas.Chayanee Chomsaengchun
Look forward to your thoughts.
Generally, I think about Lisa every few months.
Two years ago, Thailand became the first country in Asia to decriminalize marijuana.
Thai yoga massage at Tamarind Springs Forest Spa.Chayanee Chomsaengchun
The experience featured lavender and CBD oils pressed into my muscles with a cannabis-leaf compress.
Clouds had gathered en route, turning the ridge-backed granite isles scattered offshore into slate silhouettes.
I studied them from the sapphire-tiled pool running the length of my villa.
The pool at Banyan Tree Samui.Chayanee Chomsaengchun
They looked like ancient dragons, half-submerged in the aquamarine sea.
baristas) roast robust Chiang Rai beans.
When nightfall blots out the water views, you could be in Bangkok.
Making herbal compresses at Conrad Koh Samui.Chayanee Chomsaengchun
At Silapa, I froze in front ofFear,Aksorn Khing Khumchaems print of a puffer fish.
January 10, 2010:Hey Lisa Happy 2010!
Just wanted to check in to see if you knew when the story might run.
A shrine to the Buddha at Kamalaya.Chayanee Chomsaengchun
Dirt trails weave through the papaya and tamarind trees of the Conrads Iris Farm.
Lemongrass sprouts from discarded tires, and delicate microgreens shelter under plastic tarps.
In five years, Iris Farm has grown significantly, enriching both the land and the guest experience.
From left: A bento box of tofu cake, spring rolls, and fruit at Tamarind Springs Forest Spa; Tamarind Springs Forest Spa.Chayanee Chomsaengchun
Khunkayan sees it as integral to Conrads overall wellness proposition.
I pounded them into an aromatic mash that I gathered in muslin and tied with twine.
After the workshop, I presented this lopsided compress to my therapist for her to use during my massage.
Smiling politely, she set it aside and began scrubbing my heels with green pandan-leaf salt.
Im just checking in.
she asked, less to me than to the cherry-red lighter gun she held up.
It answered with a definitive click and she set the towel on fire.
This stimulates the bodys wind element, which Terananont said would rebalance my energies and reboot my gut.
How are your stools, typically?
A fellow guest chatted with us at the host stand.
You just missed us at the communal dinner table, she said.
I just had acupuncture and am so.
Out, she added.
Thats what Im here for, Posey echoed.
Ignoring Kamalayas no-phones-in-the-restaurants rule, I furiously transcribed the conversation into my Notes app.
February 1, 2011:Hey Lisa, Happy New Year!
Just checking in as I know there have been some changes at [redacted].
Any idea if/when its running?
You probably wont be surprised to learn that Lisa never published my Thailand story.
Me at 23 would be thrilled to know where me at 40 is.
So, Upton said, what does this bring up?
Why cant I let Lisa go?
Like the idea that maybe the story I wrote for Lisa sucked.
Like the idea thatthisThailand story is a karmic do-over.
The first step to eliminating clinging is to recognize these unhealthy attachments; then you release them through meditation.
Kamalaya has just the space for that: Arjan Cave, a sacred hollow once inhabited by monks.
I found Charlotte there, seated in the lotus position, facing a candlelit altar.
Amber light reflected off her face.
Incense twisted toward the granite ceiling.
She didnt need to tell me she was saying a prayer for her dad, who died in 2022.
How does a professional disappointment compare to the death of a loved one?
If only it could have done the same for my compulsion to record.
But I wasnt thinking about that.
I didnt need a photo of Arjan Cave.
Im working on not wanting so much.
Weeks later, I pulled up the photo and noticed three green orbs hovering above Charlottes head.
Like wellness, it was whatever we wanted it to be.
June 21, 2024:Dear Lisa, I dont know if you remember me…
Would she apologize?
Would she tell me to GTFO?
Would she even remember me?
Severing my Conrad prayer bracelet was like severing a psychic connection to Lisa.
Ive let her out in little doses to write this, and shes not bothering me anymore.
I think Ive thought her to death.
But a final email…. That could be good.
That could be closure.
Narratively, that could be the perfect button on this story.
I never sent the email, because you know what, this story is good the way it is.
