A mother-daughter trip helps one writer find stillness on the go.
Didnt they realize my next birthday was still eons away?
The only response that even comes close?
Sofia and her mom in San Sebastian, Spain.Credit:Sofia Perez/Travel + Leisure
Take a vacation together.
Great vacations exist in a temporal netherworld, unmoored from the reality of daily life.
During these interludes, there is no tomorrow to plan for or worry about theres just now.
Sofia’s mother while traveling in Pamplona and with Koldo Rodero and family while in Spain.Sofia Perez/Travel + Leisure
A workaholic immigrant, my father never cared much about travel, but I knew my mother felt differently.
After his passing, I saw an opportunity to broaden her horizons.
Even packing her suitcase stressed her out.
Sofia’s mother with her brother Vicente while traveling near Madrid.Sofia Perez/Travel + Leisure
Beyond modifying our itinerary to meet her physical needs, I also had to help her manage her anxieties.
When you are young, no one prepares you for the possibility of parenting your own parents.
Anyone who has ever gone home for Thanksgiving and immediately reverted to their teenage self will understand the dynamic.
Sofia with her mother at the National Mall on their visit to Washington D.C.Sofia Perez/Travel + Leisure
All things considered, the trip went well.
Although Mom was using a cane as she battled knee pain and osteoarthritis, she was still quite mobile.
Whenever I returned for a visit, Koldos entire family made me feel like their long-lost American sister.
Sofia and her mother while at Sandals Dunn’s River resort in Jamaica.Sofia Perez/Travel + Leisure
In 2020, just as we began contemplating the next trip, the entire planet screeched to a halt.
Hop-on hop-off buses were our salvation, allowing us to visit the major landmarks with ease.
Since shed been craving a beach vacation, I booked us a room atSandals Dunns Riverin Jamaica.
Slowing down forced my key in-A personality to find those often elusive moments of stillness.
I had chosenJamaicabecause its so different from the places Mom has visited, and it didnt disappoint.
In the end, however, Mom offered me much more than I gave.
She beamed, basking in the respectful warmth of the exchange.
You dont know them, Id hiss, fearful of the crime wave that was gripping NYC back then.
Theyre just human beings, Sofy, shed respond calmly.
You dont have to be afraid.
And just like that, past and present converged for a spell, and the clock somehow magically stopped.
